William is in the movie ADDICTED — a re-telling of the movie with Diane Lane where she has an affair with Olivier Martinez. William is the “Sancho” on the side.

The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose



angel mas guapo fr CCEA


ARGUMENTO (synopsis):  “Maite es una muchacha que su padre quiere vender como esclava. I por eso lo manda a una jate de esclavitud que va a mandar chicas a sus nuevos duenos.Maite no sospecha que trampa le va preparar la vida i su padre.”

Maite is a girl whose father wants to sell her into servitude  So he sends her to a white slaver that arranges for girls to be sent to their new masters.  She doesn’t suspect the trap that’s being set for her and her father.


ARGUMENTO:  “La agente de bolsa Maite Perroni pensaba que lo tenía todo: un trabajo estupendo, un hogar magnífico, un cuerpo decente, dos gatos por compañía… y demasiadas noches en que dormía sola. ¿Dónde estaba el señor Perfecto en ese cuadro? Más cerca de lo que suponía…

View original post 1,397 more words



Soccer — even when it’s bad, it’s good.

The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose


   Russell Brand – read the article on his site

   Or read the original here at NEWS OF THE WORLD with a lovely pic of Russell — NOTW

RB is a fantastic writer of humor.  The thing is…he’s not writing humor…he’s writing about football.  And football – England’s Barclay’s Premier League – is very funny.  Ordinarily, it’s a comedy of errors , but in the last months, with horny satyr John Terry cutting a swathe through Wayne Bridge’s woman, it’s become a “comedy of eros”! And Wayne Bridge has taken offense to that, as he showed when he blanked England’s Brave John Terry during the handshake ritual at Chelsea vs. ManCity in February.  Don’t even get me started on the managers!  And so, this blog post by Russell Brand is hilarious and hysterically funny and rendered doubly funny by being bang-on true.  I don’t know if he’s ever…

View original post 348 more words


This is a popular post. I don’t know that people are looking for this specifically, but they are usually looking for Carlos Hathcock or Ron Szpond.

The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose



One Shot One Kill

Here’s a book that actually has a good blurb.  It sounds like a trailer for an action movie:


Damn, that’s heavy.  But this isn’t a movie.  It’s not a Tom Clancy novel. It’s for reals, y’all.  It’s not glamorous, fun, or hip.  It’s damned dirty work. Soul-sucking, back-breaking, lonely work.  After reading this book, it’s my considered opinion that, while all the armed forces have their “special” teams, sharpshooters/snipers are the most special.  For the simple reason that they have to do their job alone or with 1 spotter. Lonely.  They get dropped in dangerously close to the enemy. Suicidal.  They have to keep still for hours and hours and hours.  Torturous. 

You have to be the sort of man (as far as I know, there are no women snipers) who is okay being alone with only your thoughts for company.  You also have to be…

View original post 542 more words

Art & Articles of Faith: Brand and Perugino

The English Premier League is in full bollock-swing. Manchester United Wee Devils were seriously bitch-slapped by Leicester (pronounced “Lester”) 5-3. ManCity is taking on #1 Chelsea at the mo. Frank Lampard is sitting this one out so far. Good call, I think. When you don’t have to go to Champion’s League and the World Cup, you come back pretty damn fresh. Half of United were at the World Cup, then their club tours. They are seriously in need of a rest. The Prem is a marathon, not a sprint, so let’s be patient and see what happens after Christmas break. And is anyone really scared of United anymore?

The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose

Articles of Faith

It’s a good thing that I’m not a religious fanatic because I would probably not have bought this book. (You notice I never mention “borrowed” or “stole” or “never returned to the library”? Every book is mine via purchase or other form of moral acquisition. I’ve been given books by friends, but you know how it is when you are given books by people who are not great readers of books. They end up being books that I would not write about. “The Best of Shakespeare” or “Emily Dickinson’s Greatest Hits”. Something quite vague.)

“Art The Wrong Way” has a double-entendre. Layer one involves how Brand, an attention-whore of Byzantine proportions, re-Brands Perugino’s painting of Christ and angels with himself (as the Christ figure) surrounded by some talking heads of English soccer. And Britney Spears. As if any of her fans would ever buy this book. Or read. You know…

View original post 291 more words


My LOL collection. They’re funnier than they sound.

  1. Plato and Platypus Walk into A Bar — Thomas Cathcart, Daniel Klein
  2. The McSweeney’s Joke Book of Book Jokes — McSweeney’s, eds.
  3. Yiddish with Dick and Jane — Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman
  4. It All Started with Nudes — Richard Armour
  5. Punctured Poems — Richard Armour
  6. She’s So Funny — Judy Brown
  7. Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things That Aren’t As Scary, etc. — McSweeney’s Books, Ted Thompson, ed.
  8. The Classics Reclassified — Richard Armour
  9. A Bit of Fry & Laurie — Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry
  10. Lanterns and Lances — James Thurber
  11. Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists
  12. A Feast of French & Saunders — Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
  13. Coyote vs. Acme — Ian Frazier
  14. Conversations with S. J. Perelman — Tom Teicholz, ed.
  15. The Party, After You Left — Cartoons by Roz Chast
  16. Theories of Everything — Cartoons by Roz Chast
  17. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? — George Carlin
  18. Poetry for Cats — Henry Beard
  19. Without Feathers — Woody Allen
  20. Blackadder – The Whole Damn Dynasty (UK edition)
  21. Matt Groening comics: Work is Hell, Love is Hell, How To Go To Hell
  22. Dilbert comics
  23. Calvin & Hobbes comics
  24. Happy Bunny

The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose

View original post

Skippyjon Jones: A Siamese Cat Who Thinks He’s a Chihuahua

How freaking adorable is this kitty! This is a popular post. You should see all the ways that Chihuahua has been spelled. It’s pretty funny. has all of the Skippyjon books, but make sure you’re getting one of the story books. I picked up one that turned out to be some weird kid’s game. It wasn’t a storybook. Caveat emptor.
These books have an endearing innocence. I say bring innocence back to childhood.

The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose


Remember those cartoons about Ralph, the little boy who would become consumed by his fantasies? Well, imagine Ralph is a Siamese cat named Skippyjon Jones and he likes to affect a Mexican accent and be a hero.  The first book is wonderful!  He is banished to his room and goes into “Ralph” mode to become El Skippito. 


Skippyjon JonesI was happy to see that SKIPPYJON JONES, the first book, won an award for Best Read-Aloud Book. Judy Schachner, the author, has created something very special.  Everything about the character and his family (Mama Junebug Jones, Joo-Joo Bee, Jillyboo) is just too adorable.  You’re going “awwww…” practically every page.

I noticed at that a couple of reviewers took offense at the nod to Mexican culture.  Considering how the language of urban African-Americans has pervaded even corporate-speak, I really don’t see what they are complaining about.  Surburban children…

View original post 304 more words

Context clues that a series is in the works

7 years later and every time I read this, I think “Nailed It!” Every one of these has come to pass. Series continue to be the hot format this last decade. Not all of them are good, though. In fact, it’s fair to say that there’s a glut of series in the market now. Romance writing tends to go from glut to glut, have you noticed? What will be the next trend after series? Also, the whole alpha male thing is glutted, as well. The next trend would have to be antithetic — like nerds in love or something.

  1. the hero/heroine has lots of close friends/relatives who figure prominently in the story
  2. comments about friends’/relatives’ love lives are interspersed throughout the story
  3. sometime during the story, a gauntlet is thrown down about how the F/R will fare when they (3a) meet their soul mate; (3b) meet their match
  4. F/R declares that they will never fall in love then become sappy and swoony about it
  5. F/R declares that they want someone completely different from the person their friend fell in love with
  6. F/Rs of hero/heroine are thrown together
  7. F/Rs of hero/heroine have a history
  8. F/R is due to do business with someone who will turn out to be a love interest
  9. hero/heroine inform on one F/R to another F/R
  10. hero/heroine take on yenta duties
  11. an elder character or authority figure character takes on yenta duties


The Festering Blurb:Bursting Open w/Pungent Prose



View original post

%d bloggers like this: